Alright so if you came here for a Midnight’s review, I’m sorry but I think it’s only fair to let her album “simmer” before giving out any of my expert opinions. That said, anytime T-Swift drops is a moment in time so in honor of Midnights here are my Top 12 power rankings.
Bonus Tracks outside the Top 12: Our Song/Tear Drops On My Guitar
Can’t decide between the original hits. Nothing too flashy but classics nonetheless that need to be mentioned. Sometimes you have to take a step back from the nostalgia and be an honest critic; she was still finding her voice. Looking back at these songs now, they give “a young highly touted prospect” who shows flashes enough that you start to believe the hype (a la Lebron’s debut at 18).
12. All Too Well (Original): Where’s the scarf, Jake?
11. The Last Great American Dynasty: The fact that she would write a song about the Bernie-Jeter 90s Yankees gives me goosebumps to this day.
10. Love Story: Taylor’s version, obviously. Guys, I’m sorry, what can I say, it’s always been catchy.
9. Champagne Problems: Fellas, the @ChampagnePapi verse on this is one of his Top 5 features. Unbelievable that the two biggest artists of a generation collaborated.
8. my tears ricochet: Gotta admit, the 2:28 mark drop/beat switch-up hits every time.
7. Lover: Basically a Christmas song, my 12 has variety for all seasons.
6. Wildest Dreams: As a huge 90s guy, I think we gotta let 1989 slide. Needs to be represented.
5. cardigan/mirrorball: Speaking of the 90s, these two songs I can’t decide between and sound like something my mom would’ve listened to. Nathalie Merchant, Jewel, Alanis Morissette vibes.
4. right where you left me: It’s “giving” D*x*e Chicks, sorry forgot we don't say that anymore, The Chicks vibes.
3. exile: Low-key-high-key is a better karaoke duet than Shallow. Don’t @me bitches.
2. All Too Well (10 Min Version): Like the original, but longer.
Remember used textbooks when you’d see “Turn to page 76 for a surprise.” Yeah me too. For #1 you’ll have to scroll to the bottom.
Every guy reading this right now is thinking, “Wow, he really sold out to create Buzzfeed Taylor Swift rankings.” Yes, indeed I did, it’s what the analytics say to do. Alright, now onto some sports…
MLB
@BobCostas - Let’s be real, I know you’ll never read this and you’re just doing your job as a baseball announcer, but why are you the way that you are? You’re calling a playoff game in ‘22 on TBS, you’re not the narrator in some “Summer of ‘84” baseball documentary nobody watches on PBS. Anybody who is watching a division series is either a fan dying on every pitch or on their phone not listening to you, they don’t need to be lectured by your platitudes in an elimination game (they can come to me for that). Every non-Yankee fan hates the Yankees and that’s cool and good for the game and all but isn’t Bob Costas supposed to be one of these mainstream media “fair and balanced” personalities? Sort of like a Don Lemon, you know, CNN how they just hit it 450 feet to dead center every time. This guy loves to tell you how much he admired “The Mick” every time you put a mic in front of him, so why was it that he was overtly rooting for the formerly feathered Indians? Look I’m not trying to give a lunatic a platform but Dave Thomas wrote in his latest mailbag (it was too NSFW to use) that “listening to his broadcast made Yankee fans want to throw him off the side of Verrazano Bridge” (his words, not mine) and I don’t want to be known for being anti-anti-bullying, but could we at least shove this guy in a locker? Holy hell. Dave Thomas sent over a mailbag that involved Yankee fans listening to Bob Costas and the Verra
Week 7 Picks
Warped Logic: Week 7, ‘22
Thursday Night
New Orleans Saints @ Arizona Cardinals
**Taylor Swift halftime**