Is 2.2 Million Likes and 12+ Million Views on TikTok going viral? I don’t have an account, you tell me? (Watch until the end.)
Has my recent TikTok fame gotten to my head? Absolutely. Will it affect how I treat my family and friends? Obviously. That said, this is a humbling game. Since making it to the bigs, I’ve been big-leagued twice. In the middle of last Saturday’s 1 pm slate, I received no acknowledgment from saying “what up Mintz” to Barstool Mintzy while walking on my way to Lakawaka station. I’m not making this up because why else would you admit to not getting a head nod or a thumbs up from Barstool Mintzy?
My second “Welcome to the NFL moment” came when @TheHobokenGirl ignored my well-crafted, business professional email request. I was left on read after kindly asking for a favor in the form of reposting this article link. (What of it? Shooters shoot.) I’m not going to lie, I had a whole bit written up going after Hoboken Girl (like how she has been posting more from Jersey City of late), but in all honesty, it is a nice wholesome, useful, insightful, informative account and I’d prefer her not to block me over this charade. All love @TheHobokenGirl.
Alright, before this bit goes completely off the rails, on to…
After spending all summer in deep meditation here are the Week 1 picks. Definitely didn’t just write these down on the bus commuting to work Tuesday. Don’t worry, I'll keep track of the over/under's and against the spread. Could be an excellent opportunity to take out a second mortgage to fade these. Your loss.
Keep in mind, that the fact that I didn’t change this pick proves I am a reliable narrator. The Queen died so Gabriel Davis (no relation w/ me if you were wondering) could wear Peaky Blinder cleats and score the opening touchdown of the 2022 season. The Bills looked like a very complete team. The one spot on their roster you may call a blemish is their RBs (running backs). After fumbling his first NFL carry and not playing another snap the rest of the game, James Cook could be a good buy-low option in a trade once he leaves the doghouse.
On the Rams’ side of things, it was a dreadful second-half performance. Jalen Ramsey looked vulnerable, targeted 7 times allowing 6 catches for 124 yards and 2 TDs. The offense also looked a lot like the 2nd half of the Super Bowl, where their only effective offense is force-feeding the ball to a certified ball hog, Cooper Kupp. The most exciting thing in the 4th quarter last night was a fan sneaking on the field for a gender reveal.
For next week’s Thursday nighter (Chargers @ Chiefs), put me down for 34-33 LA. So far off to an 0-2 start.
1 PM Sunday Slate
-Ravens 17 @ Jets 20
What do ya know, it’s opening weekend and somehow I have a good feeling that the Jets upset the Ravens. There should be a run on the banks flocking for the Ravens here. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. (I’m not sure if this is legally required, but adding this just in case.)
-49ers 21 @ Bears 17
2nd year QB, Trey Lance, was NOT one of the six captains the 49ers named this season. Massive red flag, thank goodness Mike Florio was able to cover this. Next, we’re going to hear that his teammates never showed up to his birthday party. Despite these red herrings, Da Bears did very little this offseason to help out their 2nd year QB, Justin Fields. Lance sneaks out of Soldier Field in an ugly one.
-Pats 16 @ Phins 20
The Patriots’ hoodie evil genius up north has yet to reveal who will be calling the plays during the season. Failed rocket scientist-turned-failed NFL head coach, Matt Patricia, is rumored to be Mac Jones’ play caller despite coaching defense for most of his NFL career. Dolphins’ QB, Tua Tagovailoa, is 3-0 against New England. With another win, he’d tie John Elway for most QB wins without a loss against Belichick.
-Eagles 23 @ Lions 27
Combination of 3 things. Jalen Hurts leaving an awful taste from his playoff debut, Hard Knocks hype, and the main reason I’m going with Lions and Jets this weekend is the theory that it is easier for a defense to gameplan/prepare for running QBs opening weekend rather than midseason.
-Steelers 10 @ Bengals 24
The Steelers haven’t entered a season with a first-round QB on their bench since 2004 with Big Ben. Tommy Maddox started that season opener before getting hurt in week 2. Roethlisberger would step in as a rookie and win 15 straight before losing to Brady in the AFC Conference Championships. How long before Mitch Trubisky gets Maddox’d?
-Browns 20 @ Panthers 10
The obvious storyline is Baker getting a chance at revenge for the Browns blindsiding him when they traded for Deshaun Watson. Browns spoil it by leaning on their ground attack and defense, as the 80% chance of rain in Carolina only helps Cleveland’s cause.
-Colts 31 @ Texans 13:
Matt Ryan can pass the 60,000 career passing yards mark if he can throw for 265 yards this Sunday. The other QBs in the 60k club are Tom Brady, Drew Brees, Peyton Manning, Brett Favre, Ben Roethlisberger, Philip Rivers, and Dan Marino (in that order). I never would have guessed that Ryan has thrown for more yards than Aaron Rodgers (currently at 55,360).
-Saints 20 @ Falcons 23:
The #1 (Jameis Winston) and #2 (Marcus Mariota) overall picks from 2015 is the QB matchup in Atlanta. Seems like a ton of sports media believe in the Dennis Allen-led Saints. Do the Saints have the better overall roster on paper? Sure, but expect this to be the flukey game of the week. With Jameis Winston (career record of 33-44) and Dennis Allen (career record at head coach 8-28), I think it is fair to be a bit more skeptical of the Saints.
-Jaguars 24 @ Commanders 17
If Trevor Lawrence is as good of a prospect as everyone saw at Clemson, then shouldn’t ruining Carson Wentz’s Washington debut be slight work?
4 PM Sunday Slate
-Packers 20 @ Vikings 31
The last time the Packers opened their season in Minnesota was the 2020 Covid year when Aaron Rodgers lit up the Vikings for 364 passing yards and 4 TDs. Last year’s opener against the Saints was horrific, the Packers getting blown out 38-3. This year feels like it will fall somewhere in between. I would think that Green Bay will lean on their backfield of Aaron Jones and AJ Dillon to start the year as Rodgers waits for his young WRs (Romeo Doubs and Christian Watson) to get some experience under their belt. Vikings on the other hand are being talked up a ton because of their new head coach, Kevin O’Connell (another Sean McVay disciple). Riding that wave to start the year.
-Giants 17 @ Titans 23
Can Wen’dale Robinson and Kadarius Toney provide some spark, or will Saquon Barkley just continue to see 7/8-man boxes? Defensively, it looks like the Giants will be without their pair of young pass rushers, Azeez Ojulari and Kayvon Thibodeaux. With a 70% chance of rain Sunday evening in Nashville, I’m picturing a slugfest where the Titans hand the ball off to Derrick Henry as much as possible. When Derrick Henry has 24 carries or more, the Titans are 18-1.
-Raiders 16 @ Chargers 34
For the 18th year in a row, the San Diego LA Chargers are the sports media’s “surprise” team. Any podcast or radio show you listen to will mention that they “should be ready to take the next step, but we say this every year.” This has to be their year.
-Chiefs 31 @ Cardinals 30
This was before I heard about Rondale Moore hurting his hamstring. With him now questionable for Sunday, I’m not sure where the Cardinals will turn to manufacture their jet sweep offense. The Chiefs’ offense features some big names like Juju Smith-Schuster, Clyde Edwards-Helaire, and Marques Valdes-Scantling. Closer to kick off I’ll probably lean more towards the Chiefs rolling in a statement win in their first game without Tyreek Hill.
Sunday Night
-Buccaneers 24 @ Cowboys 27
A rematch of last year’s Week 1 Thursday night game. Tom Brady has been dealing with divorce speculation after missing two weeks of training camp. Now that Amari Cooper is in Cleveland and Michael Gallup on IR, the #2 WR role is up for grabs. Two high-risk, high-reward candidates to keep an eye on to emerge are Jalen Tolbert and Kavontae Turpin.
Monday Night
-Broncos 21 @ Seahawks 10
People forget that Joe Buck and Troy Aikman are bringing big game voices back to Monday Night Football. From a sentimental standpoint, it does kind of stink that Buck won’t be doing any more World Series. I don’t expect much from this game. This might be a snooze fest. We got Geno Smith starting for Seattle and it feels pretty forced to have Wilson’s return being shoved down our face in Week 1.
My Yankee inside source is on record stating Hal Steinbrenner (Yankees owner) is willing to re-sign Aaron Judge in the ballpark of 8 years for $300 million+. Ken Rosenthal, Jeff Passan, Jack Curry - please just credit the scoop if you want to use this.
Playoff Push
Lastly just wanted to close out with something that probably should’ve been led with. Sunday will be the 21st anniversary of September 11, 2001, and it would remiss to not at least acknowledge this. For a firsthand account of that tragic day, I’d recommend reading this piece. Although with each passing year, the day may not always seem to carry the same weight as it once did, for NY, it always will and should be a day of remembrance. The fact that we are afforded the chance to be distracted by sports proves just how good we have it and is a reminder not to take anything for granted.