WESTERN CONFERENCE | EASTERN CONFERENCE | YouTube Rabbithole
WESTERN CONFERENCE
Central Division
(1) Colorado Avalanche vs. (4) Seattle Kraken
Colorado’s Cale Makar has the most points by a defenseman through 238 career games in NHL history. Makar has already won the Conn Smythe (NHL MVP), Calder Memorial (Rookie of the Year), and James Norris Memorial (Top Defenseman), plus the Avalanche won the Stanley Cup in ‘22. Makar has had the most productive start to a career for a defenseman.
Seattle’s Matty Beniers was the 2nd Overall Pick of the ‘21 NHL Draft and at the moment is the odds-on favorite to win the Calder Trophy this season. His 57 points this season put him at the top of the rookie leaderboard.
Prediction: Avalanche in 4.
(2) Dallas Stars vs. (3) Minnesota Wild
Dallas’ Jason Robertson had a 108-point season with the Stars which surpassed Dino Ciccarelli’s 106 of 1981-82 for 2nd most in team history. Robertson’s 108 were also the most points in a season age 23 or younger by an American-born player in NHL history.
Minnesota eh’s Kirill Kaprizov is back in time for the playoffs after suffering an undisclosed lower-body injury that had him out of action for a month. Kaprizov cuts the tongue of his skates. Any big hockey guy like myself knows a longer tongue will give you resistance when leaning forward in a stride and make you fatigue faster and decrease flexibility.
Prediction: Stars in 5.
Pacific Division
(1) Vegas Golden Knights vs. (4) Winnipeg Jets
Vegas’ Mark Stone is in the midst of a miracle comeback from a back injury that placed him on the LTIR (Long-Term Injured Reserve). The NHL has a rule that if a player is placed on LTIR, their salary doesn’t get included in the team’s salary cap. Vegas magically received an additional $7.25 million towards their salary cap and they were able to acquire Jonathan Quick, Ivan Barbashev, and Teddy Blueger at the deadline because the Vegas-born captain was on LTIR. The salary cap does not exist in the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs, which is very convenient.
Winnipeg’s goalie, Connor Hellebuyck, faces off against his former Jets backup, Laurent Brossoit. Hellebuyck may well be the very best goalie out in the West, so he could be the equalizer given that the Jets don't have the caliber of skaters that some of the rest of the West has. Hellebuyck will be an unrestricted free agent after the ‘24 season for the first time in his career and recently repeated his sole goal is to capture the Stanley Cup.
Prediction: Golden Knights in 7.
(2) Edmonton Oilers vs. (3) Los Angeles Kings
Edmonton’s Connor McDavid had an insane ‘22-’23 regular season. He had 3 15-game point streaks, only 7 0-point games, a 7-game goal streak, 5 consecutive multi-goal games, became the fastest player to reach 50 goals since 1996, had his 1st career 60-goal season, was 1 of 6 players to reach 150 points, captured his 6th career 100-point season, and led the NHL in goals (64) and assists (89).
LA’s Anze Kopitar stays out of time out. He is the first player in NHL History to play a full 82-game season while averaging 20+ minutes a game (20:18) and receiving 4 or fewer penalty minutes throughout the whole entire year.
Prediction: Oilers in 7.
EASTERN CONFERENCE
Atlantic Division
(1) Boston Bruins vs. (4) Florida Panthers
Boston’s Brad Marchand back in ‘18 was put on notice for kissing and licking his opponents. @NYC typical creepy Boston behavior, am I right?!?!?
Florida’s Aleksander “Sasha” Barkov is the captain of the team that puts the most Pucks on Net (shots on goal). Pucks on Net is my favorite playoff hockey stat so we’re predicting a first-round upset because the Panthers average nearly 4 more Pucks on Net than the Bruins do per game. We’re not biased against Boston, this is sports analytically driven.
Prediction: Panthers in 6.
(2) Toronto Maple Leafs vs. (3) Tampa Bay Lightning
Toronto’s Auston Matthews has 5 40-goal seasons in his career. He is 25 years old and is already an alternate captain for the Leafs. Matthews was born in California, moved to Scottsdale as an infant, and became a fan of the Phoneix Coyotes growing up. He was the 1st Overall Pick of the ‘16 NHL Draft and has lived up to the billing.
Tampa Bay’s Andrei Vasilevskiy is in line for yet another playoff run in front of the net in ‘23. Although his regular season may not have been middling compared to the rest of his stellar resume, I’m sure Vasilevskiy will return to form during hockey’s most important stage and shut Toronto out of winning a 1st Round matchup, extending the Maple Leaf’s playoff series drought another year - Toronto hasn’t made it out of the 1st Round since ‘04.
Prediction: Tampa Bay in 6.
Metro Division
(1) Carolina Hurricanes vs. (4) New York Islanders
Carolina’s Sebastian Aho led the Hurricanes in goals this season with 36. I could write about how the Hurricanes allow the least amount of Pucks on Net in the NHL and how good they are defensively, but none of their defensemen have as clickbaity of a name, and since this is being advertised in New York, @YouTheReader have probably already skipped past this to get to the New York teams so I’ll end the write up on Aho here.
Out East’s Ilya Sorokin gave up the least amount of goals per game in the NHL (amongst goalies who were in Net for at least 50 games this season). He also led the NHL in shutouts in ‘23, the only goalie with 6 throughout the regular season. Sorokin’s elite play will be crucial if we’re going to witness some playoff hockey Out East in May ‘23.
Prediction: Islanders in 7.
(2) New Jersey Devils vs. (3) New York Rangers
New Jersey’s Luke Hughes is the younger brother of Jack Hughes, the Devils’ leading points scorer. Luke Hughes was signed immediately after Michigan’s Frozen Four run as he was selected with the 4th Overall Pick of the ‘21 NHL Draft. The younger Hughes played in the Devils final two regular season games and even scored an overtime game-winner in OT against Washington this past week. Although Luke Hughes is only 19 and has very little experience in the NHL, Devils head coach, Lindy Ruff, has been playing it coy saying “if you're on the roster, you have a chance to play” so we'll see if he is in line for some postseason run.
Manhattan’s Mika Zibanejad was quoted about the Rangers and Devils matchup, “It's a rivalry. They're right across the river. It's a tough opponent, they've had a really good regular season. It's been tight games against them this season. It's going to be a lot of fun.” 9 players in the NHL have scored 20+ goals while also assisting 50+ in ‘22 and ‘23. The Rangers have 2 of those 9 players in Mika Zibanejad and Artemi “Breadman” Panarin. @YouTheReader being that I’m a massive Playoff Ranger Hockey Fan this 1st Round Stanley Cup Matchup is obviously a must-watch in the Tri-State, tune in to TBS at 7 PM this Tuesday for Game 1.
Prediction: Rangers in a Game 7 Triple OT.
Slapshot (NY Rangers Goal Horn and Song)
"Slapshot" was written by Ray Castoldi, the music director and organist of Madison Square Garden since 1989. Castoldi debuted the song on Jan. 20, 1995, the same night the Rangers raised the Cup banner from their 1994 win.
I couldn’t find the lyrics on @RapGenius so I’ll make them myself: