Vampires | AFC North | MLB Standings Peek | Notes Nobody Asked For - Hard Knocks Ep. 1 | YouTube Rabbithole
Alright @YouTheReader,
Continuing the Vampire weekend with vampire by Olivia Rodrigo. The under case “v” in the title is on purpose, it’s bold and makes a statement.
Ouch. That’s a lot to unpack and you’re insinuating many things that aren’t true. All I’m trying to do is nominate your song in Week to Week Notes’ Song of the Summer ‘23.
Well, hopefully, @YouTheReaders find this a bit amusing.
I’m sorry Miss Olivia Rodrigo, but some of us are busy during the day and can only write Week to Week Notes at night.
Wow, you’re calling me a fame f*****?!?!? I will admit that I do think in terms of the more popular a song is on Instagram the more likely that when it gets Reeled it garners more attention and this is a media publication so that’s part of the game.
For those who care about this sort of thing, here is a quick Social Media tip I’ve learned over time. Every time you put a song on a Reel it goes into one of Zuck’s “audio page” clouds where it can then show up on other peoples’ Discover Feeds. Never a sure thing it’ll work but over time I’ve noticed Taylor Swift & Drake reach a larger audience likely for this reason.
Apparently, the internet is saying that Olivia Rodrigo did not in fact write this about Week to Week Notes, but it may actually be about Taylor Swift.
May ‘21: Miss Rodrigo retroactively credits Taylor’s Cruel Summer for “Déjà vu.”
September ‘21: Miss Rodrigo retroactively credits Paramore’s “Misery Business” on “Good 4 U.”
October ‘21: Miss Rodrigo responded “Same!” when Alanis Morrissette said, “There was a lot of bullying and a lot of jealousy and a lot of people whom I’d adored my whole life being mean girls.”
‘22 Grammys: The Grammys LEAVE OFF TAYLOR from the credits on Miss Rodrigo’s Grammy awards.
February ‘23: Taylor & Miss Rodrigo are seated at the Grammys together but never interact. Meanwhile, Taylor took a couple of snaps with Sabrina Carpenter, who Miss Rodrigo has beef with.
June ‘23: TAYLOR ADDS SABRINA CARPENTER TO THE ERAS TOUR!!!
July ‘23: Miss Rodrigo drops vampire and shuts down claims that it is about her ex, telling People “the word “guy” to veil the fact that it was actually about someone Rodrigo has idolized for years.”
Later July ‘23: TAYLOR ADDS PARAMORE TO THE ERAS TOUR ‘24!!!
Uhhh…Miss Rodrigo, I’ll have you know that females my age prefer to be called women. I’m not into girls, I’m into women, which is why I will never ask you out for a pint. @YouTheReader I am Team Taylor on this through and through. Have we got an official statement from Dave Portnoy about whose side he’s on? Miss Rodrigo at 20 years old fits much more in line with his TikTok podcast demographic so I think we can all assume where he stands on this beef.
If Everybody’s Favorite Dave doesn't come out and say he’s Team Taylor over Miss Rodrigo then what a fraud. Not a true Swiftie like yours truly!
This is just too much drama for me to find out about in one night, on to the sports…
Out of the @YouTheReader correspondence, 75% took the Bengals to come in 1st and 25% took the Ravens.
1. Cincinnati Bengals
The Cincinnati Bengals went 12-4 and came in 1st Place in the AFC North last year. They lost in the AFC Championship Game 23-20 which is a great Super Bowl hangover that just fell short. QB Joe Burrow once again had a stellar season throwing for 35 TDs to 12 INTs, but was unfortunately still sacked 41 times (5th most in the NFL). RB Joe Mixon regressed to less than 4 yards per carry, while Ja’Marr Chase in 12 games caught 87 balls for 1,046 receiving yards with 9 TDs. Burrow’s elite #2 WR, Tee Higgins also had another great season with 74 catches for 1,029 receiving yards and 7 TDs. In their secondary on defense, Vonn Bell and Jessie Bates each had 4 INTs & 8 pass deflections. The ‘22 season proved that the ‘21 Bengals’ playoff run was no joke.
In this training camp, everything nearly went up in flames in Cincinnati when Joe Burrow had a non-contact calf injury. Burrow has been progressing and even today was able to launch 50-yard bombs in shorts so he seems to be progressing in the right direction for Week 1. This offseason, the Bengals went out and paid Left-Tackle Orlando Brown big money to protect Burrow’s blindside. After the Brown signing, Cincinnati could not afford their star safeties in Vonn Bell and Jessie Bates so their secondary is now a bit of a question mark. Expect S Daxton Hill from Michigan to take one of the starting safety positions and the team also drafted CB DJ Turner in the 2nd Round out of Michigan this spring who will be competing for a starting spot as well. As long as Joe Burrow is healthy and has his weapons of Chase & Higgins, this is their division to lose.
2. Cleveland Browns
The Cleveland Browns last season traded for the suspended QB Deshaun Watson who didn’t make his debut with the team until Week 13. It was basically a lost season where the Browns backed up the Brinks truck for a guy they knew was going to miss time. In doing so, they lost out on a prime year from Myles Garrett who had 16 sacks last season. Since his 2nd year in the league in ‘18, Garrett has played in 73 games and had 67.5 sacks in that span. On the offensive side of the scrimmage, RB Nick Chubb rushed over 300 times for 1,525 rushing yards and 12 TDs. Nick Chubb fantasy football owners will no longer have to worry about Kareem Hunt stealing carries as he is now gone after an ineffective ‘22. Despite having Jacoby Brissett throwing to him for most of the year, WR Amari Cooper had another very solid season of 78 catches for 1,160 yards and 9 TDs. The ‘22 Browns tried to incorporate their Brownie The Elf logo from the 1950s and it didn’t work.
This offseason Cleveland made quite a few moderate moves. They signed DT Dalvin Tomlinson to bolster their interior on defense. The Browns also traded for EDGE Za’Darius Smith who had 84 total pressures last year with Minnesota. Garrett, Tomlinson, and Smith should form a classic formidable AFC North defense. On the offensive side of the football, the biggest move the Browns made was to add Elijah Moore via trade with the Jets. Moore has a lot of potential but may whine about not ball getting the ball and quit on his team. He probably will have something to prove in Cleveland and will be a nice 2nd complement to Amari Cooper. The Cleveland Browns are at #2 here because Deshaun Watson with a solid duo of WRs, an elite run game, and a future HOF pass rusher should be in the playoff mix.
3. Pittsburgh Steelers
Somehow, someway, head coach Mike Tomlin avoided yet another losing season. Tomlin has now coached the Steelers to a .500 or better season for every season of his 16 years in Pittsburgh. Despite only winning 1 Super Bowl, he should probably end up in Canton one day from this streak alone. The ‘22 season was different for Steeler fans because it was their first year without Big Ben as starting QB since ‘04. The Steelers started their season off with Mitch Trubisky as the starter and Mitch did as Mitch does, got himself benched. To be fair, he must’ve known he was the lame-duck QB when they drafted Kenny Pickett. Both QBs combined for 12 passing TDs with 14 INTs, it’s really insane that they ended up over .500 as a ball club. They did so because of the play of 2 stars on defense - S Minkah Fitzpatrick and pass rusher TJ Watt. Fitzpatrick had a career-high 6 INTs in his All-Pro season as JJ Watt’s younger brother fought through an injury-plagued year.
The Steelers had a no-nonsense offseason where they went out and signed veterans such as Allen Robinson, Patrick Peterson, and Keanu Neal. While none of them are no longer in the prime of their careers, all 3 vets will be mentors to young guys. Pittsburgh lost one of their starting CBs in Cameron Sutton so Patrick Peterson will face off with Joey Porter’s son for a starting role. The Steelers traded up with the Patriots at 14 so they could secure Broderick Jones to protect Kenny Pickett. They also got Kenny Pickett a massive weapon in TE Darnell Washington who is in the GIF catching a fade. Washington at 6’7” + 265 lbs, will team up at TE with Pat Freiermuth and I expect the Steelers to run the ball behind these guys a ton. Najee Harris after a disappointing ‘22 season, might have some competition with Jaylen Warren, but if we’re being real we all enjoy a Najee stiff arm so hopefully, he has a rebirth. Diontae Johnson and George Pickens will be fantasy football relevant if Kenny Pickett takes a step forward. The Steelers will somehow scrap together another 9-8 season, but no playoffs in ‘23.
4. Baltimore Ravens
The Baltimore Ravens in ‘22 were 10-7, finished in 2nd place in the AFC North, and lost to the Bengals in the Wild Card Round. Lamar Jackson played a good chunk of the season recovering from a knee injury. As a passer, Jackson only threw for 187 yards per game while he rushed for 64 yards per game. ‘22 was the 2nd consecutive season where Lamar Jackson was out at least 4 games. Outside of Jackson, Baltimore dealt with injuries all over their backfield as Kenyan Drake, JK Dobbins, Gus Edwards, and Jusice Hill all received their fair share of snaps at RB. Their WR core was dreadful in ‘22 with Demarcus Robinson leading the team in catches (48) and yards (458). At least they had Mark Andrews at TE. The Baltimore defense was rock solid as it always seems to be. They traded for Roquan Smith midway through the year. Smith and Patrick Queen formed an elite young LB duo, with CB Marlon Humphrey and S Kyle Hamilton being Notable in their secondary. All things considered, they had a solid season but they were never really serious contenders.
The ‘23 Baltimore Ravens have a new OC in town in Todd Monken. They went out this offseason and added plenty of WR weapons for Lamar Jackson. They signed Odell Beckham Jr and Nelson Agholor, while they drafted Zay Flowers with the 22nd pick. They also recently signed Melvin Gordon to join their backfield of JK Dobbins, Gus Edwards, and Justice Hill. So put the Ravens in last? It’s just a hunch with a few factors. I think Lamar Jackson is at his best when he is in run-first mode. In his MVP season of ‘19, he threw for a career-high 36 passing TDs but also ran the ball a career-high 176 times. It’s not rocket science but the more wear & tear an NFL player has the more likely he will be susceptible to a future injury, which in Jackson’s case has already happened in each of the past two seasons with non-contact injuries. While I understand that the Ravens are trying out a new system under Monken, I don’t love the plan to flood the field with a deep WR group. I think of the Ravens as a team that loves fullbacks and 2 TE sets, where they are dominating time of possession by running the ball a ton and playing great defense kind of team. Adding Dalvin Cook to their RB room would have a larger impact than adding OBJ to the WR group. Just a hunch, I don’t see this being their year, but who knows the AFC North is nearly impossible to gauge.
MLB Standings Peek
Just taking a quick look at the playoff races in the American and National League…
-The Baltimore Orioles have the 2nd best record in baseball. The O’s catcher, Adley Rutschman has been in the majors for 238 games now. The Orioles’ record in 238 games prior to his debut was 82-156. Since he made the Bigs Baltimore has gone 138-100.
-The Texas Rangers manager, Bruce Bochy, is making his return to San Francisco this weekend. Bochy managed the Giants from ‘07 to ‘19 and won 3 rings in ‘10, ‘12, and ‘14.
-The Minnesota Twins are a terrible 1st place team. Carlos Correa is hitting .229 and leads the team in hits with 94.
-The Tampa Bay Rays have lost 4 starters from their rotation this season with McClanahan, Baz, Rasmussen, and Springs. Maybe their nerds should try to find healthier arms.
-The Houston Astros are just lingering around and will probably get hot in October because let’s face it AL’s top 2 teams have no idea how to win in the postseason yet.
-The Toronto Blue Jays signed Jose Bautista to a 1-day contract so that he could retire a Jay.
-The Seattle Mariners are the hottest team in baseball riding on a 8-game win streak.
-The Boston Red Sox just activated Chris Sale off the 60-day IL, everybody hide the scissors because that weirdo will be back in Bean Town.
-The New York Yankees…Fire Cashman.
-The Los Angeles Angels are pathetic and absolutely have wasted Shohei Ohtani’s 40 homers and 3.17 ERA season.
-The Atlanta Braves have the best record in baseball and have turned into one of the best-run organizations in the sport thanks to their player development.
-The Los Angeles Dodgers used to be the best-run organization in the sport thanks to their player development but now rely on their payroll a bit more.
-The Milwaukee Brewers went on a beer run and somehow are in first place because the Reds have fallen on their face.
-The Philadelphia Phillies’ new first baseman Bryce Harper sat out today with back spasms but it’s precautionary.
-The San Francisco Giants fans welcomed Bruce Bochy back even though he told them he was going to retire for good in ‘19.
-The Chicago Cubs are hot, winners of 17 of their last 23 games. As soon as Cody Bellinger trade deadline rumors started to heat up, the Cubbies seemed to turn it on.
-The Cincinnati Reds and Arizona Diamondbacks are on an absolute freefall from their once firmly secured spots in the NL playoff race.
-The New York Mets made the right decision when they sold old parts. There are rumors going in around WFAN that Pete Alonso is a malcontent in the locker room and he needs to be gone. I swear I did not make up these rumors I’m just passing them along.
Notes Nobody Asked For…
Hard Knocks ‘23 | Episode 1
- The Intro with Joe Namath & Super Bowl III is a real charm.
- The first quote of the series comes from Head Coach Robert Saleh addressing the team, “The only bird that will attack an eagle is a crow. The only bird that will have the balls to peck on its neck from behind. Rather than fight back the eagle soars to the point that the crow suffocates and dies from the altitude.”
- Coach Saleh just said fuck. I had no idea he cursed. I’m ready to run right thru a brick wall for coach right now.
- Aaron Rodgers said to highlight Vito the Senior Equipment Manager so I’m Noting to shout out Vito Contento. 🫡
- Mecole Hardman to Rodgers: “I watched you my whole life basically.” He’s 25 so that’s true.
- Rodgers & Sauce's handshake is elite.
- Quinnen Williams: “Man, shout out Aaron Rodgers for coming to help us out” and then laughing was hilarious.
- Garrett Wilson asked the defense “How’s the grass taste?” because the Jets offense won the day. The Jets’ offense beating their defense probably hasn’t happened in years.
- I could watch a whole episode on Sauce vs. Wilson 1v1.
- Sauce graduating with Nick Van Exel is very random but very cool. “Big for the youth.”
- In attendance at Jets training camp are Curtis Martin, Tiki Barber, Method Man, and Liev Schreiber (The Voice of God). It’s either gotta be Schreiber or Morgan Freeman, in my mind.
- Al Woods on Aaron Rodgers, “I don’t care what nobody said, #8 is a special dude and cool AF.”
- Rodgers is mentoring Zach Wilson.. good.. good.. good.
- Saleh to Sean Payton, “If you ain’t got no haters you ain’t poppin.’”
- Former Patriot (who gave up the David Tyree helmet catch), Rodney Harrison, admires Sauce Gardner’s game.
- Aaron Rodgers also was a fan of Demarcus Ware’s rendition of the National Anthem.
- Rodgers tells Wilson over the headset to “throw it up to Malik” on the 50-yard bomb completion which was the highlight of the game.
- Episode 1 ends with The Voice of God saying, “The Jets are aiming high, ready to soar to a place the crows can’t touch ‘em.”
- Week to Week Notes’ IMBD Rotten Tomatoes Rating is 98%.
- In conclusion, are the Jets America’s Team this year?!?!?!