The Real Slim Shady | NFL Divisional Round | YouTube Rabbithole
Alright @YouTheReader,
Today’s tune is The Real Slim Shady by Eminem. If you grew up listening to Eminem, of course, you know all about this song, his love for Detroit, and the Lions. I’ve done over 300+ Notes with songs on in the background, I’m not going to lie, as silly as it sounds, sitting here and annotating Eminem’s lyrics blows my mind. I don’t know, it’s pretty cool.
Much like I’m sure plenty of people reading this, Eminem was my introduction to rap. I’m pretty sure Nick At Nite played a PG version of 8 Mile when I first heard about mom’s spaghetti; maybe it was D12’s My Band being the opening song on the CD Now That's What I Call Music! 16 that my mom bought for our car without knowing much about Eminem; or when I finally got an MP3 player and downloaded Without Me & Til I Collapse off Limewire, damn might as well throw in Stan and When I’m Gone while we’re at it, but anyway, somewhere around then I fell in love with music that didn’t sound like what my parents were listening to.
He was angry a lot and he said a bunch of bad words, but there was just something different about it that I found so cool for a kid in elementary school. This song particularly came out in April of ‘00, when I was 5, so I never bleached my red hair to blonde. Probably for the best.
The opening line is about how shocked the hip-hop community was that a pale guy like Eminem could really rap. Before Marshall Mathers, you had the likes of Vanilla Ice and Max Kellerman trying to sound tough over a beat. While there were the likes of the Beastie Boys, I feel like they were more of a different brand of rap, more rock-rap (if that makes sense, I’m sure there is already a category) than hip-hop.
I’m not quite sure what the Pam and Tommy reference is. I might have to do a bit of online research and then get back to you on that one.
Ah, wait, I forgot to mention to those who may not be so in tune with Eminem… Slim Shady was his alter-ego. It was almost like a character or bit that was much more sinister, and vulgar, than who Marshall Mathers was in real life. Last April Fool’s Day, I wrote about his first song called Infinite, where you could tell he was skilled as hell, but it didn’t get much popularity. It’s almost like the public didn’t care too much about Eminem until he put on the Slim Shady act where he would have to say outlandish and sometimes grotesque things that had truth to them. I’ve listened to this song thousands of times and I still get a chuckle when he mentions Dr. Dre. The Compton producer was the man behind the beats that Slim Shady was killing (rapping over) and was an instrumental part of Eminem’s success.
Eminem had a ton of haters at this time, including I’m sure a ton of feminist groups. This was a quarter of a century ago, so I don’t feel like digging up examples, but I’m sure there are things he might’ve regretted or wishes he may have done differently. Remember though, Slim Shady is the one rapping this, and he’s got a bit of an ego that thinks feminists will look past his shtick. Also, it should not surprise anybody to know that Eminem, despite coming across as brash, got plenty of women.
Here he is talking directly to his teenage audience, acknowledging that he may be a bit nuts, but the teens’ parents shouldn’t necessarily be casting stones. At this time American culture, Eminem was a star in the making but was considered too controversial for mainstream TV. For instance, back in ‘00, I don’t necessarily know that any of these TV Networks would’ve shown Eminem at the Lions game as much as they show Taylor Swift at the Chiefs. MTV, at a time when they still showed music videos on TV, banned some of Eminem’s hits because they were too provocative, but Tom Green, the comedian, was allowed to have his own show where he’d do zany stuff like trying to revive a dead moose.
The Tom Green Show had a theme song called “The Bum Bum Song.” Slim Shady was telling the TV Networks or mainstream culture to kiss his ass because of their blatant hypocrisy.
This might be the most possible creative way to champion gay marriage, but in ‘00 this was probably the most effective way that Eminem could do so - through Slim Shady’s vulgarity. While I guess you can hate how he went about it, Eminem constantly just pointed out hypocrisies like this.
The chorus is about how so many of his fans would try to be just like him, including bleaching their hair. Slim Shady/Eminem/Marshall Mathers is one of a kind. The “please stand up” line comes from the TV Show To Tell The Truth, which first aired in the 1950s and made a comeback around this time. (SongFacts)
Hey, at least he kept his wife’s name out of his mouth!
What’s funny is Eminem won back-to-back Grammy’s for Best Rap Solo Performance My Name Is and The Real Slim Shady. He also won back-to-back Rap Album of the Year. The cool thing is, I really don’t think he cared about these accolades, he was more so just genuinely driven by the craft.
This was the era of Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, NSYNC, and The Backstreet Boys. All I’m saying is Harry Styles is lucky Slim Shady isn’t lurking around because he’d be Team Ted Lasso.
It’s the truth. Tens of millions of people at this time felt like they could relate to him. Out of the Top 20 Rap Albums ever sold, Eminem has 4 of the 20, including the 2nd and 3rd ever bought with real hard copy CDs. (Source: XXL)
The only lie he had on this song was that he was only better than 90% of rappers out there. More like at least 99.5%. Even his harshest critics gotta have him somewhere they can count on their hands or toes.
Eminem was 27 years old when he wrote this. Rap is a young man’s game so he was joking that he’ll have to retire at 30.
Well, that’s one way to introduce a sports column on the NFL Divisional Round. Any guess who I’m taking this weekend?
Let’s talk ball…
NFL Divisional Round ‘24
The Houston Texans walloped the Cleveland Browns last Saturday. They scored a season-high 45 points, ending the Browns season by scoring 35 points straight points from the 12-minute mark of the 2nd Quarter on. Rookie QB CJ Stroud could not have had a better start to his playoff career as he went a squeaky clean 16 for 21 for 274 yards and 3 TDs with no INTs or sacks. WR Nico Collins continued to lead the team in the receiving column, while TE Brevin Jordan broke out for a 76-yard TD, his career-long previous was only 27 yards. Offensively, the Texans were just efficient against a very formidable Browns defense.
That said, my biggest takeaway from that game was what Houston did defensively. After giving 36 points and 265 receiving yards to Amari Cooper on Christmas Eve, Texans’ coach DeMeco Ryans made some great adjustments. Example A was sticking CB Derek Stingley on Cooper for nearly 85% of snaps. Stingley only gave up 1 catch to Cooper for -6 yards. The 2nd year corner wasn’t the only bright spot on defense for Houston as 2nd year LB Christian Harris out of Alabama also had himself a day. Harris had a sack, 8 tackles, and 1 of Houston’s 2 Pick-6’s. While Joe Flacco had the Browns moving the ball well before the playoffs, Cleveland’s passing attack was largely centered around Cooper. Baltimore has a much more balanced attack offensively, so it’ll be a new challenge for this young Texans team as they face the vaunted Baltimore Ravens.
The Ravens are the #1 seed in the AFC so they had themselves a bye last week. Baltimore went an NFL-best 13-4. Heading into Saturday, the biggest negative talking point you’ll hear about them is that QB Lamar Jackson and a few of their starters haven’t played football since New Year’s Eve. Lamar Jackson is currently the odds-on favorite to win the regular season MVP, which would be the 2nd of his career. He threw for a career-high 3,678 passing yards this season to go with career-highs in yards per attempt (8 yards per pass) and competition percentage (67.2%). Not to mention, the man also led the team in rushing yards.
If the Ravens do have one flaw, it may be their RB group, which has lost 2 studs JK Dobbins and Keaton Mitchell to injury. Outside of Jackson, Baltimore relies heavily on the pairing of downhill runner Gus Edwards and scatback Justice Hill. The team also just added Dalvin Cook to their active roster, so he may have something to prove. As far as their passing game goes, they have a ton of depth as 6 guys on the team had 32 or more catches with at least 10.9 yards per catch. TE Mark Andrews is listed as questionable, a great sign considering at one point it looked like his season was over. Defensively, the Ravens are led by DT Justin Madubuike and his 13 sacks. At one point this season, Madubuike had at least half a sack in 11 straight games. The Ravens have always been known for their linebackers and the duo of Roquan Smith with Patrick Queen fits the bill. The two combined for a total of 84 solo tackles each to go with a combined 291 total tackles (when multiple defensive players are in on taking an offensive player down). Smith and Queen aren’t the only dominant duo on this defense either, as they also have excellent safety play as well. Geno Stone (7 INTs) and Kyle Hamilton (4 INTs & 3 sacks). While I may not love the fact that the Ravens gotta win this one by double-digits, the tape doesn’t lie, Baltimore is better.
Prediction: 28-17 BAL (-9.5 BAL & Under 46)
The Green Bay Packers pulled off the annual Dallas Cowboys upset last weekend. QB Jordan Love in his playoff debut had nearly identical stat line as CJ Stroud, as he went 16 for 21 for 272 passing yards and 3 TDs. Love was impressively poised, as the hushed Dallas crowd on their first drive with a TD and never looked back. RB Aaron Jones had already been heating up going into the playoffs with 3 straight games of 111 rushing yards or more, he added to that with 118 more rushing yards to go with 3 TDs. To me, it seemed like the Packers played very carefree with nothing to lose against a tense Cowboy team that seemed off from the jump.
Green Bay’s defense held the #1 scoring offense in football to only 7 points in the 1st half. Don’t let Dak Prescott’s box score of 403 passing yards and 3 TDs fool you, 210 of those passing yards and 2 scores came after the team was down 48-16 in the 4th Quarter. 1 Packer defender who balled out was their Nickelback CB Keisean Nixon who led the team in tackles with 11 while picking up his first full sack of his career. Lastly, the Packers punter, Dan Whelan of County Wicklow (borders Dublin), became the 1st Irishman to play in an NFL Playoff game in 41 years. The last Irish-born player to play in the playoffs was Neil O’Donoghue in 1983.
Just like the Ravens, the San Francisco 49ers earned their playoff bye week and have heard about how QB Brock Purdy all of a sudden can’t play because he last played on New Year’s Eve. Purdy also hears a lot about how he is just a game manager, but his #1 WR Brandon Aiyuk, averaged 17.9 yards per catch, an NFL-best among pass catchers with 64 or more catches. Although Aiyuk had a huge year, I still consider George Kittle and Deebo Samuel to be the main guys in the passing game when the going gets tough. Of course, having an RB like Christian McCaffrey in a Shanahan West-Coast Offense isn’t fair, but blame the Panthers’ owner David Tepper for that one. This 49ers offense averaged 28.9 points per game (3rd best) and 398 total yards per game (only 2.9 yards less than the best).
Of course, I could’ve picked one of San Francisco’s offensive stars for a GIF, but we all know defense wins championships. This Niners’ defense only gave up 17.5 points per game, the best in the NFC. LB Fred Warner has led the 49ers in tackles every year since he was drafted by the team in ‘18. Not only is Warner great at see-ball-hit-ball-carrier, but he is even more so elite in pass coverage. This past regular season, Warner had a career-high 4 INTs, which was also the most by a linebacker this year. As far as getting to the QB, Nick Bosa’s 10.5 sacks led the team. Bosa on facing Jordan Love said, "I don't think many teams have made him uncomfortable yet. So stopping the run and covering up those easy, open guys is something we have to do. In the playoffs, running the ball and stopping the run is how you win." Nothing too headline-y but notable. While I may not love the fact that the 49ers gotta win this one by double-digits, the tape doesn’t lie, San Francisco is better.
Prediction: 31-20 SF (-9.5 SF & Over 50)
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers beating the Eagles were the only thing stopping me from going 6 for 6 in spreads last weekend, sad! QB Baker Mayfield’s F-U ‘23-’24 Tour may have peaked as he went 337 passing yards and 3 TDs. Even though Mike Evans led WRs in TDs this year, Mayfield found his other options with Chris Godwin, Trey Palmer, and David Moore for scores. Mayfield, the former #1 Overall Pick of ‘18, will face off against Lions QB Jared Goff, the former #1 Overall Pick of ‘16. This is the first time two #1 Picks have faced off in the Divisional Round since Peyton Manning and Andrew Luck back in ‘15. (Source: Thanks Bezos for the stat)
What was most impressive about Tampa Bay’s defense last Monday was they did the unthinkable - stop the Philly Tush Push or Brotherly Shove, whatever we’re calling it. That’s on coaching, as Todd Bowles has done a great job this season with this defense. It may have gone a bit under the radar, but Tampa’s defense only allowed 19.1 points per game this season, which tied them for 6th best with the Steelers. I could be wrong, but I feel like the Steelers’ defense got a lot more acclaim than the Bucs did. Anywho, two guys on the Bucs defense line are notable, one being the veteran Vita Vea and the other rookie Calijah Kancey. The two combined for 1 sack, 2 run stuffs, and 2 QB hits against a good Philly offensive line.
Last Sunday Night, the Detroit Lions hung on to a 1-point victory, to win their 1st home playoff game since January 5, 1992. The Lions at home in the playoffs are 6-1 all-time, the problem is 4 of those wins happened from 1935 to 1957. Late in the 4th Quarter, when Detroit was trying to ice the game, they relied heavily on RB David Montgomery and WR Amon-Ra St. Brown. Montgomery got the ball 3 straight plays, picking up 2 first downs, as St. Brown caught the 11-yard strike to set up the victory formation. It put a smile on Benjamin Capp’s face, a Detroit Lion season ticket holder who attended their 1957 NFL Championship when he was 23 years old and the tickets were $8. That isn’t just pretty cool, that is awesome!
Detroit Lions’ pass rusher, Aidan Hutchinson, came up huge with 2 sacks and 5 QB hits last week. In his last 3 games played, the Michigan man has been an absolute menace with 7 sacks. I guess when you grow up in the suburbs outside of Detroit and play for a head coach like Dan Campbell, it gets easy to keep elevating your game. Defensively in the regular season, the Lions gave up the 2nd least amount of rushing yards in the league, the problem was they were 6th worst in opponents passing yards. Well, the Bucs only average 88.8 rushing yards per game, a league-worst, making them a bit one-dimensional. When the Lions last played the Bucs in Week 6 in TB, they held them to just 6 points. I figure that this elite-run defense can afford to put another DB or two on the field to key in on TB’s pass game, and I’m listening to The Real Slim Shady right now, of course, it’s the Lions.
Prediction: 27-19 DET (-6.5 DET & Under 48.5)
Somehow, someway, Taylor Swift and the Chiefs prevailed in those frigid temperatures in Kansas City. Taylor slayed in her customized jersey jacket made by none other than Kristin Juszczyk, the wife of 49ers’ FB Kyle Juszczyk. TE Travis Kelce did the team no favors by dropping 3 passes, but what matters most is that he was there for Jason on their podcast this week. Rookie Rashee Rice caught 8 passes for 130 yards and a TD, that ain’t a bad first playoff game. Also, QB Patrick Mahomes is now 12-3 in the playoffs. That now puts him in the category of Tom Brady and Joe Montana. Brady won 10 straight postseason games and 3 Super Bowls, so Mahomes ain’t touching that to start his career, but he may be on track to have Joe Cool beat as Montana didn’t play in his 15th postseason game until he was 33 years old and he went 11-4 (with 3 Super Bowls). Mahomes is only 28 and already has 2. Listen, I’m not the biggest Mahomes fan, it’s a different league, and I respect my elders, etc. but these are just facts.
This is the best Chiefs’ defense I can remember. CB L'Jarius Sneed has been unreal this season. He was matched up with Tyreek Hill for 8 targets last week and only gave up 2 catches for 20 yards. In the regular season this year against the Bills, Sneed lined up against Bills WR Stefon Diggs for 66% of his routes and he only allowed 1 catch on 4 targets. (Source: @theonlydyl_) He also hasn’t allowed a single TD in this football season. Sneed has earned himself quite a big chunk of change as he is set to become a free agent after these playoffs.
Bills LT Dion Dawkins has been doing a bit of talking, "Pat has never been to the Bills' stadium in full…The environment will be different and not to say it's in our favor, but the stadium is in our favor. Stadium is us. That helps us. I don't care what nobody says. This is the dopest feeling I've ever had. We're having two back-to-back playoff games at home. Come on now, like we get to leave and go eat wings. It's cool. So good luck." Not only will this be Mahomes’ first time in Buffalo for the playoffs, but this will also be the 1st time he plays a playoff game on the road (outside of the neutral-site Super Bowl). Against the Steelers last weekend, QB Josh Allen had a 52-yard rushing TD to go with 3 passing TDs. The 52-yarder was the 2nd-longest run by a QB in NFL playoff history, as Colin Kaepernick had a 56-yarder 12 years ago in the Divisional Round in ‘12.
Buffalo’s defense this year has been great, allowing only 29 or more points twice this season while 10 times allowing their opponents to score less than 19 points. This Sunday Night, we are once looking at another frigid night for these two teams as Buffalo is supposed to be around 21°F or -6°C. Expect Taylor to once again be bundled up in Buffalo… I wonder if Mrs. Juszczyk has made her a white jersey jacket to match the Chiefs on the road? @FellowSwifties somebody has gotta get on that! Bills at home.